UNAWARE.

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

It seemed that i just cant get my feelings out with words & speeches .
But its straight that inside , im hurting .
& what hurts more is , i dont understand why .
Fck , enough with the tears , ashiqin .
no drama can get you back to yesterday .
STOP CRYING & START MOVING ON .

i'll tell mommy that i want a transfer .
but , i dont know how .

i'll tell Bitchries that i'll still be the normal , laughing idiot ,
but still , i dont know how .

i'll tell Nicholas that i'll be okay .
but the fact is that , im not .

but , i'll tell You that i'll be away .
far away that you'll never find me .

trust me , im never good with words .

& its just temporary , ♥
5:46 AM

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Fck those Emotions , okay .
So hello people . I'll post again at the end of the day , today . Later , i'll be meeting Deena Nabilah Norazali . At Khatib Mrt Station , 12.30pm . Yeaap .
Ah , darn it . I need my Bitchries . So damn fcking much . & So , I'll be meeting them this afternoon . WHOOHOO .
yay !

I miss Bonnie !
I miss Elly !
I miss Tinie !
I miss Fifieh !
I miss Een !
I miss Fynn !
I miss Sha !
I Love You Guys Like Crazy Shit .

Darn the computer , Darn the handphone , Darn My Darned LIFE .
I WANNA GO SWING LAR .

Definition Of Stressed Relieving Swing Method :
Mad Scientists have proven that the Swing , can relieve stress & other sort of unnecessary junk in your lungs & your inner system . Swinging is also a form of exercise that can help build up your biceps . Swinging is ten times effective then eating unhealthy fat-increasing chocolate bars . So , People .
STOP CHOCOLATING & START SWINGING .

hahah .
Actually , i made that all up lar . But , c'mon . You cant blame me . Im Rotting Over Here . & All i can think of is , swing swing swinggggg !

So people . Sorry for the lame post today . Im bored . & I just woke up . Chatting with Nicholas now . Heh ! Perhaps , there'll be pictures later on .
Pretty Little Pictures Of The Bitchries . AHH ! Cant wait .

----------------------

all i want is for you to talk to me .
just speak .
do you really mean it when you say you're giving me away ?
that's harsh .
i dont understand & you dont bother to explain .
but , i'll keep waiting .
ily .

muchmuchlove, ASHH .

& its just temporary , ♥
6:55 PM

BOBBIEE IS NOT FOOD.

et that straight , dufuses .

Yes , im back blogging , happy ?

Emotions got better of me these days . & currently im looking for the perfect blogskin . Ahah ! How i miss Bottle Tree Park . Me & Deena's heading there tomorrow , for Swing-time ! YAY ! :D

So yesterday , went raya-ing with anna , emy , ami , deena , imran , ikrimah , aizat , rusydi , sahril , & zi . So yeah , alot happened , but i dont wish to elaborate . Yes , i was very , very late . Because i was deciding whether to go or not to go . Hah ! Sorry , guys . I didnt mean to be late .

& btw Mummy , they love your cookie :D

Sighs , things had been pretty harsh these days . I cant figure . I dont get what the shit he's thinking . & i dont get myself . What the heck ? Bonnie , i need you . Very very very , much . But , too bad . You're enjoying yourself . In Sentosa . Its okay , besttie . Have Great Fun . Let's take it from here . I have absolutely nothing to talk about .

that's how much i miss you .

much love ,

ashh.

Labels: I

& its just temporary , ♥
2:04 AM

Monday, October 22, 2007

damn , i feel so sick .

& its just temporary , ♥
7:07 AM

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

HEY FCKED UP PEOPLE .
so , hello people .
its Thursday today .
my favourite fcking day .
im in the computer lab now .
like , whaatthehell .

got my english marks today .
did well for this term .
HAHAH !

English Paper 1
section a - 25/30
section b - 20/30

Oral
total - 19/20
[ what a damned surprise ! ]

i totally forgot what i got for paper two .
so , shoot me , bitches .
so , yeaah .
got my english marks .
& i passed my science !
izzuan , be happy . (:

tiara didnt come to school for so long already .
i am so fcking happy .
she went to visit her sick grandfather in indonesia .
HAH ! how i wish she would stay there forever .
didnt really want to see her fcking face , no more .
ahh , sick .

tomorrow , going amk hub with bonniebear .
& maybe the rest of the bitchries .
looking forward to it .
so , dont spoil my mood , bitch .

& damn ! jing hui is such a bitch .
hurt janson , flirt with mj .
no offence here .

-----------------------------------

damn the feelings .
it stills feel so good with you .
fck the damned feelings .
im sorry , im not desperate .
in just , in need .
i dont love you .
i just cant seemed to get over you .

ashh .
you're my unavoidable lust .

& its just temporary , ♥
8:50 PM

SKIMPY LITTLE JERKS .
what the heck ?
what to do for the navalites voyager thing ?
damnshit . why did i even came to school for that crap ?

so hello people .
today's a blur .
there's a play .
turned out fine .
& then , there's this NV thing .
like , what the heck ?
what is fernandez thinking ?
after exams means speed level turn way up high ?
FCK .
& heck , now what am i suppose to do ?
damnshit , sia .

---------------------

not blaming anybody .
not trying to create a sin .
but it hurts thinking about you
each day & each night .
like , fck . im not the sentimental type .
please . just fcking fck-off .

& its just temporary , ♥
7:06 AM

Monday, October 15, 2007

& its just temporary , ♥
6:08 AM

Friday, October 12, 2007

HELOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO people .
tomorrow's hari raya .
soo , TO ALL MUSLIMINS & MUSLIMATS ,
SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDILFITRI !

i feel blue today .
so , i shall use font coloured blue .

so , today i reconciled with bonnie .
yeah , we fought .
over a small matter .
which was like , HECK .
i wanna chop chop chop
LESBIANS into TEN MILLION PIECES .
hate them , hate them ! HATE THEM !

so yeah .
today , had a navalite voyager meeting .
me & anna came late together .
so yeah .
ms fernandez asked us ,
" why do you hate geography ? "
because , its a fcking boring subject. , i thought to myself .
& anna said , " no , i LIKE geography . "
ms fernandez turned to me & i was like , whaat ?
& said ,
" uh . ah , oh , i do like geography . "
she shouted , " LIAR ! "
& i was like , cheeeeeb* ! & answered ,
" perhaps its because the teacher teaches the subject in a boring manner."
& everyone was like , " ohhhh ~ sabo teacher arr .. "

well , had fun at least .
anna & erica thought about making a class t-shirt .
but , me & deena were like , against it .
well , c'mon lar .
we used up the class's money for the stupid play .
& then , we asked for more money .
of course , they wont be happy lar .
they're already not very happy doing the play.

& erica , you have to understand that .
people are cursing you behind your back .
stop shouting & bossing them around .
im sure you do know that in nbss , one mistake is fatal
for your stand .
so , chill , girlfriend .

so today .
in com lab 4 .
me & claire were so damn pissed with tiara .
she's the most unbelievably sickening , fcking short bootlicker
that ive seen around .
perhaps , she's even the FIRST .
what a slut , she is .

so , yeah .
claire logged into a girl's account .
[ whom she doesnt even know & named her a bitch ]
i wonder how she got her password , too .
& then , she started typing all those bullshit about tiara .
& this sec two girl . i forgot her name .
joined in & said something so funny that my stomach hurts bad !
something like ,

"eh , you go flirt with eugene more better lars .. your hair like matthews sia . the kind which like just come out from the oven .. "

which btw ,
eugene is the drum major .
matthews is a fcking annoying shithair teacher .
oops , did i just say that about a teacher ?
ah , fck . like i care . shoot me , matthews .

& then , more & more people started joining in the fun (:
see , tiara ? the whole school hates you , bitch .
so , have fun licking the shoes of your favourite teachers .

& stop FLIRTING with eugene , okay .
you want to be the next peggy , issit ?
i know he good-looking lar .
but , wait long long till he's gonna like you lar .
i know every dirty little secret about you , tiara.
its not difficult for me to find out .
just . you . wait . .. bitch .

-ashh

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

its painful to smile when seeing you with her .
i aint jealous , i just wonder . wonder & wonder.
how would it be if its ME standing by your side instead of her ?
but , i'll keep pretending .
i'll keep smiling & laughing away .
im still your trustworthy & spunky sister (:

& its just temporary , ♥
8:10 AM

Thursday, October 11, 2007

stop , okay .
you are my besttie .
but why must you really write about me in your blog ?
today was one fine day that ashiqin can smile again .
& now , you blew it all away .

its nothing about 'him , okay .
& btw , im still strong .
im still ashhy .
& i didnt cry .
so stop accusing & assuming .
stop before it'll become an annoying habit .

now , it seems like bitchries dont come first in your life no more .
that's what im upset about .
try to understand me , hunny .
im not the type who would brood over guys THAT LONG .
you've known me for 5 whole years .
dont tell me you didnt know that .
& you know very well that i love you , right .
i may appear selfish & self-centered here
but , why dont you ask yourself why ?
well , the damned truth is ,
im jealous of mandy .
is that enough for you to get the whole picture ?

told me to do some soul-searching ?
i did that . & all i could find is ,
some deep shit that's missing her bestfriends .
& that's hoping ever so much to just meet them .
is that too much to ask for ?

look here , missy .
my attitude didnt change , okay .
if it seemed like that , i take it as a compliment .
because , im different .
& that's why you bitches love me (:
& the post about me talking about 'him ,
that's a way for me to just relieve my stress over the matter .
because , it seemed , for that particular day ,
all of you went enjoying your perfect day
with other perfect people .
& i had no one else to confide in .
my other bestties , you called them ,
they're away in their own world
with their boyfriends .
while im in the bus with the mp3 earpiece stucked on my ear .
call me pathetic .

im really happy that you've found mandy in your school .
& erick , too .
im happy , hunny , really .
but , i just cant help but feel like that .
please count the days that you last spent with us .
thank you very much .

bye cruel little world.

& its just temporary , ♥
5:53 AM

I LOVE MOONLIGHT (:
& im sure moonlight loves sunshine too .

Thursday , October 11 , 2007 .
6:27PM
& i love life .

CONGRATS TO FAT CHIMP FOR FINALLY
GETTING A WONDERFUL GIRLFRIEND ON
Wednesday , 10 October , 2007 .

psst , you're lucky to have a good sister like me (:

so , anyways .
today im gonna post a concrete poem by
AYU NASUHA FROM ONE NOBILITY .
hahahah , great poet , she is .
& she loves baboons' butt . much .

so , LISTEN .

baboons attack . attacking baboons . attacker are baboons .
baboons attacking gang . red-butt baboons . singapore baboons .
red & white baboons . baboons , moo moo . bogey bogey baboons .
baboons called _____ . baboons in naval base . baboons are singaporeans . covered baboons butt . eeoyoh , eeoyoh baboons .
baboons is the family . lala land in baboons' butt . butty , butty .
splashy , splashy moeee , mooeee baboons BUTT . baboonized !

creative , isnt it ?
HAHAHAHHAHAH .
een would love it .

see , ms fernandez , WE DO LISTEN IN LITERATURE CLASS ! (:
will come back later .
LOVES(:

& its just temporary , ♥
3:24 AM

Monday, October 8, 2007

FOR ALL THIS WHILE , IM JUST A FCKING SISTER TO YOU ?
this is the first time in centuries that im expressing my damned feelings in a blog .
what the shit is wrong with you ?
hurting girls are your daily routine , much ?
FCK .

no , i dont feel good .
this is only the second time i feel like someone is poking my chests .
its hurting so bad .
i dont understand you .
first , you can appear so happy with me & giving me high hopes .
& the other minute , you'll be talking about another girl already .
i dreaded all this shit . i didnt tell you that
because i didnt want to hurt your insolent little heart .
& i hurt myself for that .

im not asking for anything , here .
im not asking for any credits , either .

sometimes , i feel as if you're playing me .
all those times we spent together ?
whaat are those ?
JUST SOME FCKING CRAP TO ENTERTAIN YOURSELF WITH ?
do i look like your fcking puppet who goes along with you in anything ?
i really dont understand you .
im hurt here , & you dont even know .
perhaps , its better if we just keep a distance .

they told me not to be upset .
they told me not to cry .
they told me to just get back on my feet & just move on .
but , i just cant do what they told me to .

perhaps , its just me .
the one who bottle it all up .
just shutting up & endure the pain & anguish .
i told myself to forget you but honestly , i just cant do that .
i'll try , though .
its painful enough .

i'll leave those precious moments we had together
as a dream . it never happened .
im gonna say the last three words that i never got a chance to say it to you ,
& that is , " i love you .. "

after today , everything will get back to normal .
i'll still be your sister .
& i'll still lend you a good listening ear .
i'll still be there .
fck me for being all emotional here .
but , its just the damned truth .
this is an online diary .
no one seemed to take note of that .

much love , ashh .

& its just temporary , ♥
2:59 AM

Friday, October 5, 2007

HELLO , HELLOOO ! :D
&& its time for .. PICTURES !

THURSDAY ! :

this is anna`banana(:

& this is dumb ashhy .

emilia feryna aisyah is her name (:

candid shot of emyy .

emy's hot , we all know .

emy ! (:

those pretty little bitches .

amirah bte. zainal abidin

amirah bte. zainal abidin no.2

credits to amirah (:

love that bitch .

& plus , this one too .

ashh .

& its just temporary , ♥
11:42 PM

Monday, October 1, 2007

MY LOVES ! ,HELLO (:
today was perfectly fine .
at least i had my retarded moments .
oops , i forgot my starting lines .

monday , 01 october , 2007 .
7:03pm
its childrens' day !

firstly , i'd like to say ,
HAPPY CHILDRENS' DAY !
to all you childish people .

hahahahahahahahahahahahahah .
how funny .
& that was fake , it you're wondering .
i do smile , i do laugh .
but , its all pretend .
i cant smile , i cant laugh .
that's the truth .
but i'll still keep smiling , anyway .

today , had english paper 1 & geography .
for english ,
i chose question one !
i feel good about it . but , we'll see .
& a letter writing .
i feel as if im writing in an american accent .
literally . but , the language counts . not the accent , right?

geography?
screw it .
three words ; tough as hell .
we'll see how it goes .
i dont wanna hope .
i'll dissapoint myself .
see ? i listen to fifieh .

after school , hung out with
elly , bonnie & tinie .
we camwhored like crazy .
i love those people .
they're my life .
steal them , i demand hell from you .

elly taught me a new word today .
its , petite .
i forget what it means . hahah .
ididnt ask , anyway .
it reminds me of a word fieh taught me the other time .
its , fetish .
i dont know what it means , either .

look at this:

when i see your smile

tears roll down my face

i cant replace

& now , that im strong i have figured out

how this world turns cold & it breaks through my soul

& i know , i'll find deep inside me ,i can be the one

i will never let you fall

i'll stand up with you forever

i'll be there for you through it all

even if saving you sends me to heaven

that's 'your guardian angel' by red jumpsuit apparatus .

lovely , isnt it ? (:

end of post .

love all you rockets .

god bless .

ashh .

& its just temporary , ♥
4:01 AM