Monday, October 8, 2007
FOR ALL THIS WHILE , IM JUST A FCKING SISTER TO YOU ? this is the first time in centuries that im expressing my damned feelings in a blog . what the shit is wrong with you ? hurting girls are your daily routine , much ? FCK . no , i dont feel good .this is only the second time i feel like someone is poking my chests .its hurting so bad . i dont understand you . first , you can appear so happy with me & giving me high hopes . & the other minute , you'll be talking about another girl already . i dreaded all this shit . i didnt tell you that because i didnt want to hurt your insolent little heart .& i hurt myself for that .im not asking for anything , here . im not asking for any credits , either .sometimes , i feel as if you're playing me . all those times we spent together ? whaat are those ? JUST SOME FCKING CRAP TO ENTERTAIN YOURSELF WITH ? do i look like your fcking puppet who goes along with you in anything ? i really dont understand you .im hurt here , & you dont even know .perhaps , its better if we just keep a distance .they told me not to be upset .they told me not to cry .they told me to just get back on my feet & just move on .but , i just cant do what they told me to . perhaps , its just me .the one who bottle it all up .just shutting up & endure the pain & anguish .i told myself to forget you but honestly , i just cant do that .i'll try , though . its painful enough . i'll leave those precious moments we had together as a dream . it never happened .im gonna say the last three words that i never got a chance to say it to you , & that is , " i love you .. " after today , everything will get back to normal . i'll still be your sister .& i'll still lend you a good listening ear .i'll still be there . fck me for being all emotional here .but , its just the damned truth .this is an online diary .no one seemed to take note of that . much love , ashh .
& its just temporary , ♥
2:59 AM
